Committed to infusing vitality into the D.C. Arts by producing exciting and
accessible alternative theatre to generate new and diverse audiences.
accessible alternative theatre to generate new and diverse audiences.
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| LANDLESS PLAY COMPETITION! "SO BAD, IT'S GOOD!" |
PLAY TITLE: SPLIT
PLAYWRIGHT: Ira Gamerman
SIMON SHAKESPEARE SAYS: "I don't know...
might not be "bad" enough for this crowd."
RANDY SHAKESPEARE SAYS: "Any play with an
imaginary Vince Vaughn is OK by me, dawg."
PAULA SHAKESPEARE SAYS: "Split... split... I
think I'm splitting right now... (alcoholic
drug-induced babble, etc.)"
might not be "bad" enough for this crowd."
RANDY SHAKESPEARE SAYS: "Any play with an
imaginary Vince Vaughn is OK by me, dawg."
PAULA SHAKESPEARE SAYS: "Split... split... I
think I'm splitting right now... (alcoholic
drug-induced babble, etc.)"
SYNOPSIS:“Adam is a directionless yet charming
24 year-old with a couple of imaginary friends,
an overprotective oddball girlfriend who bears
a striking resemblance to his mother, and a
severe lack of self-confidence. To make matters
worse, Jenny (an old love interest with some
embarrassing secrets about Adam's past) has
mysteriously come back into his life after a
three year absence. Can Adam confront his own
insecurities, confusions, fears, and past
histories in order to set his life straight?.”
24 year-old with a couple of imaginary friends,
an overprotective oddball girlfriend who bears
a striking resemblance to his mother, and a
severe lack of self-confidence. To make matters
worse, Jenny (an old love interest with some
embarrassing secrets about Adam's past) has
mysteriously come back into his life after a
three year absence. Can Adam confront his own
insecurities, confusions, fears, and past
histories in order to set his life straight?.”
Note: All excerpts and other items posted on this website are the exclusive intellectual
property of the competing playwrights, provided for the sole purpose of gathering
feedback for this contest. All rights reserved.
ADAM
I don’t have an honest answer to that question. And that’s
scary. I mean, I like Ellen. But, what if I am subconsciously
dating my mother and perpetuating abuse after abuse in some
Freudian attempt to remain a child my entire life? I got a
second opinion from my imaginary friend Vince who bears
striking resemblance to Vince Vaughn circa Swingers.
Enter Vince Vaughn holding 2 beers. He
chugs them. He speaks.
VINCE VAUGHN
[BEEP] this quack, man. Forget whatever bull[BEEP] this guy is
pumpin’ into your head. It comes down to one question and one
question alone. Simply. Honestly. Is the sex worth the
hassle? Because there are plenty of other chicks out there
who will give it up on a regular basis without all this
bullshit. You think they don’t exist? They exist! I mean,
there are clinical nymphomaniacs out there. You cruise some
“sex-aholics anonymous” meetings and you are golden. Of
course, that opens up a whole other set of issues, that you
may not want to deal with. And I understand that. Ya know,
I’ve been in the middle of one of those all-day sex-athons.
And around go number 15, you wanna castrate yourself, because
you can’t feel anything below your waist, and this chick is
still goin’ at it like you’re the last chopper out of Nam-
But if that’s the kinda ride you’re in for? Do your thing,
man. I’m not judgin’ ya. You want a beer?
VINCE VAUGHN exits.
property of the competing playwrights, provided for the sole purpose of gathering
feedback for this contest. All rights reserved.
ADAM
I don’t have an honest answer to that question. And that’s
scary. I mean, I like Ellen. But, what if I am subconsciously
dating my mother and perpetuating abuse after abuse in some
Freudian attempt to remain a child my entire life? I got a
second opinion from my imaginary friend Vince who bears
striking resemblance to Vince Vaughn circa Swingers.
Enter Vince Vaughn holding 2 beers. He
chugs them. He speaks.
VINCE VAUGHN
[BEEP] this quack, man. Forget whatever bull[BEEP] this guy is
pumpin’ into your head. It comes down to one question and one
question alone. Simply. Honestly. Is the sex worth the
hassle? Because there are plenty of other chicks out there
who will give it up on a regular basis without all this
bullshit. You think they don’t exist? They exist! I mean,
there are clinical nymphomaniacs out there. You cruise some
“sex-aholics anonymous” meetings and you are golden. Of
course, that opens up a whole other set of issues, that you
may not want to deal with. And I understand that. Ya know,
I’ve been in the middle of one of those all-day sex-athons.
And around go number 15, you wanna castrate yourself, because
you can’t feel anything below your waist, and this chick is
still goin’ at it like you’re the last chopper out of Nam-
But if that’s the kinda ride you’re in for? Do your thing,
man. I’m not judgin’ ya. You want a beer?
VINCE VAUGHN exits.
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